at 1am...

6th april 2006

i cant sleep..my body is tired of a day at work, an hour of bowling n 30 minutes of elping out a flat tyre (unny u did the rest dear...all i wanted to do is tighten them bolts...or whtever u call it...hehe)..im tired ..but i cant sleep...

i cant think straight...my mind needs the rest...but i'm thinkin of him...of u....then him again....gosh....am i missin u?....why do i bother if she does come back to you?...and why do i love him?...or do i?....is this for real....he cant be there forever...but u might...but am i what u're looking for?...am i missin u?....me n my stupid assumptions....then my stupid imaginations...then my forever-ness im looking for...ish ish...why do i open my heart to such matters?...why do i inflict pain eTime i feel the purity n honesty of loving some one ....of missin someOne...what i think n wht i say...more often than most...just keep hurting eOne.....then somehow just hurts me...how long can i care about u?...how long can i wait for him?...i keep sayin sorry....i keep thinkin things will go my way...but im stuck....and i might just be stuck here...for a little while...cause as much as i hate bein tangled in confusion...i'd rather (b)* ...than anything else...

i cant breath calmLy...exhale inhale is cunfusing in my system....sometimes its soothing..but mostLy...mmmmm...im not sure....i breath it like forever....then like a sudden drop....it feels like eThing just stops....then there comes breathLess moments....which comes n go...wit those time i just want to cry....

i feel twisted and wasted....u may say im fine ...i may look fine....i am fine....i am me...but i do feel twisted....n most times wasted....
especially now

at 1am..
mornin is comin...again iLL b alrite...
dunt ask what came over me. k?

cheers!

-JK, i miss u dearLy...where r u?